Friday, 11 January 2013

Events From My Round

Whilst I stroll around doing my post round, I do come across certain events that at times show that Law Enforcement are still doing their bit against law breakers.  One street has had it`s share of "goings on."  Two houses were raided as they had cannabis farms set up in the loft.  With astronomical electricity bills and heat being detected on the helicopter infra red system, it was only a matter of time before the Old Bill came a-knocking.

    Another house had the dubious distinction of an attempt to burn it down with the occupants inside.  It transpired that the woman occupant had ditched a boyfriend, whom not surprisingly, took it very badly.  He hit upon a course of action that was going to be a spectacular send off for the two of them.  He barricaded parts of the house with wood and set it alight.  He was hoping for the house, with his now former girlfriend and her small child inside, to up completely in flames.  If he achieved this successfully, then in a grand finale, he was going to take his own life, whilst she died.  However, he had a dampener, the fire did not go up as well as he expected, and to top off his misery, the Fire Brigade arrived to dash his hopes.  On top of that, the Police came and locked him up.  He ended up, months later, in court, and he went down.

    To finish off on this street, it emerged that a woman, as a young teenage girl, she had been repeatedly raped by her two elder brothers.  This was many years in the past, but obviously there was sufficient supporting evidence, as they were both convicted.  But to ruin her delight at their punishment, they appealed their sentences and incredibly, had them reduced.  She waived her anonymity and publicly hit out at the Appeal Court.  It is something I have never, and will never, ask her about.

    Further down the road, I was delivering near Asda, and as I approached, I seen a Police van and car.  Two guys were bringing bags with plants in and putting them in the van.  I had a parcel for the house next door.  "Where are you going with that parcel, lad?" asked one uniform.  "Not to the house you`ve hit" I replied.  "What is it?" I asked knowing full well but at least getting it from the horses` mouth.  "Cannabis factory" was the obvious response.

    Another drugs bust was a bungalow down in Bierley.  There was ten Police coming and going from this house, and I thought I would be a bit of a clever sod.   "This is a bit heavy handed for a parking ticket" I said to the officer in charge.  "Cannabis factory lad.  Can`t you smell it?"  The front door was on the side of the house, and about twenty yards down a drive way.  I moved closer to the drive way, and the stench nearly blew me off my feet!  "Stinks does n `t it?" he said.  Suffice to say, the smell was so overpowering, you could not enter the house without a mask on!  And the smell in the street was bad enough!  The other week, I went into a sandwich shop on my round, and a uniform was sat there, eating a butty and reading the paper.  "Hello Wendy" I said to the owner, "Can you hide some money for me?  I have just done a security van."  The copper did not look up but just said, "Throw a bag of it into my car boot."  I then went into comedy mode, paraphrasing the exchange between Richard Attenborough and Hywel Bennett, in the film "Loot" based on the Joe Orton play.
"Don`t attempt to bribe me.  You know every copper has his price."
"Why?  What is yours?" asked Bennett.
"I was wondering when you were going to ask"
Laughter from all in the shop.